Untimely You

I will forever punish myself for the past.

The reminder of my failures slaps me in the face every single day.

Happiness is something I’ll never know again.

My life is orderly and organized.

Emotions are kept compartmentalized, or else functioning is impossible.

It’s a self-imposed prison, but it’s necessary.

I deserve this life.

Love, though, ignores all rules.

Throws a messy, irritating, beautiful woman right in my face.

Taunts me with the hope that maybe I could bask in one sliver of her blinding light.

I can’t ignore her even though I try.

This can’t happen between us.

I don’t deserve her.

She needs someone who can love her fully and without restrictions.

I’m not that man.

Love doesn’t care.

Love changes everything.

And the timing couldn’t be worse.