Loved by the Alien King

Reality TV has never looked so good, but has it always been so dangerous? This show delivers so much drama, I can't even see straight.

Maybe it's all the day-drinking...that I never got around to. Or the mysterious jungle with its never-ending secrets and flower petals that put me to sleep. Or maybe it's my big, purple alien warrior who practically blinds me with how pretty he is.

He calls me his beautiful star. I call him my hungry caterpillar #2...for reasons.

And I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love with him.