Daemons: essays

There were many times into my life when all looked perfect.

Well … until something happened and the dynamic of all became different.

Having again an ugly existence.

Even … pathetic.

And i was trying and trying and trying to understand what is going on … but …

Today i trend to believe that all is related to the fact that me or someone around me access some weird energies.

I have the tendency to call them … negative energies, but i am not doing it anymore.

All being a story about energies, some of them being beneficial to me … and some just ruining all.

Unfortunately … more i dig … it becomes more and more obvious to myself … that all is related to things that are into my unconscious.

Randomly coming up to surface.

Weird things … which are unclear even for myself, but being a surprise.

Many times … unpleasant surprises.

But .. all is unclear.

Confusing.

I feel i am right when i say that deep inside myself are some daemons which sometimes are coming back to surface, destroying my life … but of course i look so, so weird saying it.

Crazy.

Even stupid.

Very similar with the ones who lost their minds.

But … daemons are part of my being.

Randomly dominating everything.

Ruining all.

So … i probably have to admit that i am not conscious enough.

Cause … there are too many times when i lose control on myself.

Destroying all … with the pathetic shows of the daemons.

The funny thing is that it’s me doing all, but probably under the total dominance of energies which i can’t really understand.

Cause … yes … all is confusing.

My life is a real enigma.

A dynamic which i can’t understand.

Probably … i’ll never understand it.

I know, i feel and i accept that my unconscious hides lots of daemons which sometimes come to surface … enslaving me as a human … and forcing as my behaviour to become extremely stupid, negative, toxic … and making me look like a real monster.

But …

Well … it’s all a too weird story.

I start to have a full picture about all what is going on, because i have clear statistics about all what is going on … but all i can probably do is to try to calm those annoying entities which are influencing my life so, so much.

Well … my life continues anyway … with or without my approval.

I just hope … i can become more conscious.

And get rid of those influences … which i can’t accept, cause are just ruining all.

Or maybe … all is an illusory hope.