Unthinkable: Trauma, Truth, and the Trials of American Democracy

A book with a father's grief process towards the sudden death of his only son inoculates itself against most criticism. While there are moments Raskin's hero-worshipping of his fellow Democrats such as Pelosi is eye-rolling and he delves far too often into virtue-signalling (at one point he smugly mentions he ordered veggie subs from Subway for lunch while producing relevant documents on the Trump impeachment, a completely unnecessary detail inserted merely to evince a super-liberal mindset), in the end the man explores the duality of his personal loss occuring mere days before his country's collective grief. Brilliantly executed legal and moral assertions damn Trump and leave his guilt unquestioned. Heavy-handed and preachy by parts but a very informative and illustrative deep-dive into the soul of a man mourning so very much in so short a time. The audiobook version displays Raskin's raw emotions and gives one a lump in the throat, so be warned!

On December 31, 2020, Tommy Raskin, 25-year-old son of Congressman Jamie Raskin, took his life. He was buried January 5. The next day, a violent mob attacked the Capitol building. But those are just facts. Only a parent who has lost a child can understand that grief but for suicide, it's greatly multiplied. Raskin is a 4th generation public servant. For him, the assault on the Capitol was another grief, and, occurring together, the two became impossible to disentangle. At first, the book seems unfocused. Is it about his son or the attack on the Capitol? Why can’t he figure out which and stick to it? Eventually, you realize it’s because that would be impossible. You see it as he describes his feelings during the attack, “I feel no fear. I have felt no fear today at all, for we have lost our Tommy Raskin, and the very worst thing that ever could have happened to us has already happened.” One thing was defined by the other. An attack on the center of democracy! But I’ve already lost my son! It would now be impossible to think of one without the other. Asked to lead the impeachment trial, He had a chance to channel his grief into an action that also memorialized his late son, a democracy and rights activist. Asked how he could take on this less than 3 weeks after his son’s death, he replied, “I’m not going to lose my son at the end of 2020 and lose my country and my republic in 2021.” But why this book? He explains that he had always responded to constituent’s mail personally but with the flood of mail after his son’s suicide, he found that impossible. The solution was this book. “It would be my own attempt at a personal answer, a labor of love and a way to respond to all those people who told me, in such fine-grained detail, about the love and the crises in their own families, about their grievous personal losses and their incremental triumphs, and about the desperate fears they have for our nation’s future and the most cherished hopes they have for what America may still become in a world of so many frightful dangers.” This is about the impeachment trial and how he applied his experience as a prosecutor to lead it but also so much more. It's about suicide, a word that we don’t like to say. Some cover it up. Friends are afraid to talk to you. You want others to remember the person, not by how they died but by how they lived. Raskin is writing to change that. Suicide raises many “what if” questions and he writes as if the Capitol attack was also a kind of suicide attempt. Tommy had struggled with bouts of depression for years and he looks back at the clues he missed in those last days. Then, he notes, “Just as I will condemn myself for missing multiple glaring clues that Tommy was on the path to taking his own life, I will condemn myself for missing multiple glaring clues that Trump and his forces were on a path to overthrow the 2020 election…” Would anything have changed if he had asked Tommy whether he was thinking of suicide? He answers, “Words gain strange and mystical powers when they are not spoken at the times when they should be spoken…I don’t know, and will never know, whether this change in conversation might have altered the trajectory of things for Tommy, but I at least feel convinced that this hard-earned knowledge may be of some practical use to other families struggling in a similar situation. As uncomfortable and intrusive as it may seem, it is essential to use the word suicide…to demystify and deflate it, to strip it of its phony pretense to omnipotence and supernatural force.” This is not just about January 6 and impeachment. It is strangely not focused on President Trump. It will be sad at times, especially his letter to his son at the end, but, also strangely, it’s optimistic. I recommend it for anyone who knows someone struggling with thoughts of suicide or dealing with a loved one’s suicide. If you know grief, whatever your political bent, this book may well be what you need.

My younger son died by suicide only three months before Tommy Raskin. My democracy suffered a treasonous attack on January 6, 2021. Jamie Raskin does a masterful job taking the reader through his life during these tragic events. Raskin’s words about his son ring an emotional similarity. As a parent, I have sought out and read numerous books regarding a suicidal family member. It has been tremendously helpful in my grief. Raskin’s insights into the events of January 6 are riveting. Dealing with two traumatic events in tandem takes indescribable strength. I highly recommend this book. (Another review posted to this page alleges Raskin of using his son’s suicide to increase sales. That reviewer has NO IDEA what it is like to lose a family member to suicide and is ignorant of the anguish involved.)